“When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obligated to call for help of the civil power, it’s a sign, I apprehend, of its being a b
Charile expounds on the recent tsunami as a sign of the times:
“Jesus spoke about wars and rumors of wars, nation rising against nation, earthquakes and famines, about the sun and moon being darkened and stars falling from the sky and the heavens being shaken.
We live in some terrifying days and I personally believe that what has begun will not cease. I believe that “Peace on Earth” is a beautiful, noble but unattainable dream until the day when the Prince of Peace returns and puts an end to war forever.
The day is coming when the Islamic nations will gather together and come against Israel and one of my main concerns for America is where we will stand when that happens. Will we stand with Israel or will we go to the United Nations and pass a resolution condemning the invaders?
Does all this sound a little far-fetched and fantastic to you? Well check it out for yourself in God’s word. The place to find it is in Ezekiel, chapters 38 and 39.
Are all these things terrifying? Of course they are. When are they going to happen? I don’t know the day but I believe the season is at hand. Should we be afraid? Not if you’re a true follower of Jesus Christ.”
Hey boys and girls! Now you probably already know all about President Bush’s awesome Palm Helper, but did you know that your Commander in Chief is so hip and cool, He even has His very own iPod? It’s true! Just check out His rocking new über-Patriotic playlist for 2005!
Killing an Arab – The Cure
Daddy is a Yale Man – Yale Whiffenpoofs
The Winner Takes it All – ABBA
Dixie (Dance Mix) – Daughters of the American Revolution
Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins
Rock the Casbah – The Clash
Macho Man (12″ Version) – Village People
The South’s Gonna Do It Again – Charlie Daniels Band
Killing in the Name – Rage Against the Machine
Jesus Hold My Hand – John Ashcroft
Fortunate Son – Credence Clearwater Revival
Ride of the Valkyries – Richard Wagner
Killing Is My Business… And Business Is Good! – Megadeth
Father and Son – Cat Stevens
Long Distance Drunk – Modest Mouse
Fuck Foreigners in There [sic.] Dirty Unwiped Asses – Toby Keith
The fishing trip was on Tuesday. I awoke in a hospital bed early Friday morning and wrote down everything I could remember. The following is a version of that writing that has been edited by my friends at the FBI to save me any legal hassles or charges of regicide.
"That’s a good catch, that’s dinner" Plocik said. As I awoke I saw the fuzzy outline of a 25 pound Amberjack wriggling in the sun.
"Quirk, get back here and lick this fish" said Smitty.
Then, back to sleep. Sleep was the thing for me. The only thing that kept me from coughing up bile. Sleep and fancy ketchup. Where did I get all these packets of fancy ketchup?
My friends and I are planning a deep-sea fishing excursion for next month. I set it up yesterday. It’s a half-day trip to about 20 miles off the gulf coast, near Tampa Bay. After e-mailing my friends to give them the information, I received this reply from Andy: "I am going to catch a sword fish, shove it’s spoon bill in my butt, and masturbate with a silly hat and an eye patch."
I was unnerved when my seventh-grade girlfriend’s gay grandpa started to talk over the Kurt Cobain documentary. It was the one about the Courtney Love conspiracy and the self-righteous effeminate British guy whose sole quest in life was to resurrect Jesus Cobain so that he might strum another angst-wrenching power-chord to soothe his gentle British soul.
So the Byrd amendment is working brilliantly. Maybe if Walmart, Target, and about a hundred other US corporations would stop f*cking around with China we could get back to the good old days of factory jobs and the industrial revolution.
The fishing trip was on Tuesday. I awoke in a hospital bed early Friday morning and wrote down everything I could remember. The following is a version of that writing that has been edited by my friends at the FBI to save me any legal hassles or charges of regicide.
Video by Nick Rasche - 05:37
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