Hunter killed himself a year ago. What an asshole.

Here’s a good memo on the art of self-promotion:

TO: COLONEL DEPP / LONDON / FEBRUARY 2, 1999
FROM: DR. THOMPSON / WOODY CREEK
SUBJECT: PUBLIC FLOGGINGS I HAVE KNOWN

Okay, Colonel — Good work on your brutal publicity. Kick the shit out of five or six more of those rotters & you’ll make the cover of Time.

Or maybe you want to come to CUBA this weekend & help me write my new honky-tonk song: “Jesus Hated Bald Pussy.”

Anyway, this act with the Plank might have legs. Let’s give it a whirl in HAVANA. We could both load up on Absinth and trash a nice suite in the Hotel Nacional. Invite 50 or 60 Beautiful People to a party/celebration in honor of Che Guevara, which then “got out of hand.” DEPP JAILED AFTER ORGY IN CUBA, PROSTITUTES SEIZED AFTER MELEE IN PENTHOUSE, ACTOR DENIES TREASON CHARGES.

Why not? And I do, in fact, have a balcony suite at the Hotel Nacional a/o February 4-14, and I could use a suave Road Manager. Shit, feed the tabloids a rumor that you have Fled to Cuba to avoid British justice. Yeah, crank that one up for a few days while you drop out of sight - and then we hit them with the ORGY IN CUBA story, along with a bunch of lewd black-and-white photos, taken by me. Shocking Proof.

Yessir. This one is definitel do-able, & it will also give me a story. You bet. And Sleepy Hollow will open in the Top Three. Trust me. I understand these things.

Meanwhile, you should be getting your finished album & 6,666 pounds (less my 10%) in coins from EMI very shortly. And I am going off to Cuba, for good or ill, on Thursday. Send word soonest.

DOC

From “Kingdom of Fear” by H.S.T.

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